relationships -

I always enjoy the beginning. Where I live, here in South Florida, May 18th, was the day that we saw the lockdown and stay-at-home order brought on by COVID-19 begin to be lifted. Businesses were able to open including gyms (no gyms opened for some reason) and restaurants at 50 percent capacity. We haven’t been hit as hard as New York City or other parts of the world, so things will not change dramatically for us. We have been able to go outside, and exercise; most businesses have remained open.

I look forward to being able to resume my weekly Friday night date with my wife. It will be nice to return to our neighborhood Italian restaurant and actually be able to sit down and enjoy a meal. I wrote earlier about the anxiety caused by the pandemic and how the adversity of the situation also created opportunities.

The Beginning of Hope

As each day passes we seem to get closer to living the lives we lived at the beginning of the year. My offline businesses are beginning to come alive again and I’m seeing more work. This is good because these are what pay the bills and puts food on the table. I’m glad I took full advantage of the opportunities presented to me and started my online business. I love to commence a new project but it can be frightening. I know now that I will have to manage my time better in order to keep everything on track with my businesses and also provide time for myself and my family.

I always enjoy the beginning. The beginning of a relationship, meeting a new person who you know will become a good friend, starting to read a good book. To me, the beginning of anything is always exciting. I’m filled with joy and anticipation when a new football season kicks off. It excites me to begin a new challenge. I love the feeling of nervousness and wonderment I get when I ask myself, “Can I really do this?”

I start a new business with the excitement of all the possibilities if it succeeds. I’m quickly filled with feelings of frustration and doubt as I have to learn so many new things. As I quickly overcome my fears, it just adds to the excitement of beginning something new. Starting projects are fine, but nothing compares with finding true love. I don’t know if I’ve ever found any better feeling than beginning a relationship with someone that you know will be there for the rest of your life.

Exciting

That Beautiful Feeling

I wrote last week about The Fateful Day That Changed My Life and how I met my wife. I’ll never forget that euphoric feeling when I first realized I was in love with her. I was walking on clouds for months and wanted to be with her all the time. She was always in my mind when she wasn’t there and would smell her perfume constantly. I felt sad when I couldn’t be with her. When I would first see her after being apart for some time, I was intoxicated by her beauty. Over time those rapturous, exhilarating feelings weren’t there but the feeling of love has remained, even after 28 years.

The beginning of anything that we do is exciting. For me, it’s exciting because it’s a time filled with possibilities. These possibilities are endless and keep our minds from focusing on the nervousness, frustrations, and fear of beginning to learn anything new. Once you begin anything there are no guarantees of success. It’s going to take hard work and persistence. If you don’t feel happy and excited about your new venture, then you’ll never start it. The fear of failure will prevent you from ever taking that first step.

7 Habits

The excitement and the anticipation of the success you will have will help you to control that fear and choke out those little “Doubt Demons” that are hiding and waiting to come out. As Stephen R. Covey wrote in his best-selling book, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, “Begin with the end in mind.” Begin your business, relationships, or projects with a vision of the outcome you will achieve. I didn’t begin my relationship with my wife thinking, “I hope this doesn’t end in divorce.” We would grow old together. I don’t start a business wondering if it’s going to work. Of course, it’s going to be a success and I can visualize all the people that I’m going to help with it.

I Hope This Works

How do we keep going after those initial feelings of excitement fade? How do we keep our relationships spontaneous and joyful once we settle into our daily routine? Here are a few tips I can offer:

Don’t take your partner for granted. Appreciate every day because we are never promised another.
Enjoy the journey. The view from the top of the mountain is magnificent, just don’t ignore all the beauty that you pass by on the way to the top.
Be thankful. Openly express gratitude for what you’ve been given even when you’re facing some of life’s challenges.
Follow the Golden rule. Treat your significant other as you would want them to treat you.
Write down your goals together as a couple. Discuss your hopes and dreams and construct a plan to make it happen.
Always begin and end each day with love and gratitude.
Do something new that neither you nor your partner has done before. Get out of your comfort zone.
Take long walks and enjoy each other’s company and conversation.
Travel and make new memories. You will live tomorrow on the memories you make today.
Always remember WHY you started in the first place. I’ll never forget the first time I ever saw my wife.

He Says It All

Even though excitement and euphoria fade, whether it be a new job, a new opportunity, or new relationship, you don’t quit on it. You don’t get rid of your car right after it loses that “new car smell.” You honor your commitment to it. Those feelings when you first start something are very thin and fragile. They fade away all too quickly. It’s the true feelings down deep inside you that give you the strength to weather the storms.

Final Thoughts

Do you have any tips or techniques that’s helped you maintain your relationship? How long has that initial euphoria lasted for you? For me, it’s lasted about two or three months. Please leave a comment below. If you have any questions or requests for topics I would love to hear them. If you like this post, click on the little star and feel free to share it with others it might help. As always, my posts are based on lessons I’ve learned throughout my life. I don’t claim to be an expert or professional therapist, I just play one on TV (some of you might actually get that joke).

“This Train Is Moving on, You Can Get on, You Can Get off, But the Train Keeps Moving on! We Are Going to the Top of the Mountain!”

Sharing

I believe in the power of sharing. If I read a good blog that really speaks to me and I believe it will provide value to others, I will share it. I have linked four books that I believe have value. In order to change you, you first have to change the way you think. Leaders Are Readers!

Sitting by the pool or on my sofa with a good book is something I still enjoy. I read all kinds of books, fiction, history, biographies, and motivational. I enjoy the quiet time I get with just me and my book. But we live in a fast pace society today where sometimes we need to combine our tasks. Do you find yourself short on time? Are you constantly saying, where did the time go? You are not alone.

I believe that we all feel like we don’t have enough time to get everything accomplished and what usually suffers is “me time.” “Me time” is especially important to all of us. A shortcut that I have found helpful is my Audible Membership and Kindle Unlimited Membership.

I listen to books on audible while I’m doing other things. I can listen while getting dressed, while I’m working out, and even while I’m preparing dinner for my family. It is a great way to get my reading in even when I have a full to-do list that I have received from my wife. She doesn’t take kindly to me ignoring her to-do list while I catch up on my reading.

An Audible Membership, it’s a win-win for both of us. I can download great books on this and listen to them with my AirPods. I use my AirPods every time I exercise. They don’t fall out and the sound is great. With Kindle, I can download books, magazines, and my daughters can even download their college textbooks. This is so much easier than carrying a heavy backpack full of textbooks around campus. The books can be downloaded to any device and read with the Kindle app.

Both the Audible Membership and Kindle Unlimited Membership are currently offering a 30 day free trial. You can sign up by clicking on the links and give it a test drive for 30 days free. If you find it’s not for you, simply cancel your membership before your 30 days are up and you won’t be charged.

Do you know someone who is always in a hurry and can’t seem to take time for themselves? We all do. I would suggest checking out giving an Audible Membership as a gift. It is a great gift idea for someone who is always on the go.

The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. A book that will change your life. It answers the question, Why do some people have everything and others struggle? The answer is simple, they know the secret. It has changed my life and can change yours.

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. This is an oldie but goodie that is full of relevant life lessons. It is a book that you hear speaker after speaker referred to. Successful people all have the same mentality and know you have to change the way you think to be successful. Only one percent of people set goals.

Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind And Defy The Odds by David Goggins. I really enjoyed reading this book and I found it very relatable. If you want to become more than you are today, read this book. After you finish there will be no excuses. David is just an ordinary guy who made the decision to be extraordinary and was determined.

The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. A must-read for anyone wanting to change their habits. A great book for managers and leaders. Covey teaches you how to transform your thoughts to not on help you, but also to help others. These are 7 principles to definitely incorporate into your life.

I appreciate every like, follow, comment and share. Keep’em coming.

The fateful day that changed my life. Almost 30 years ago I sat on my bunk inside our tent in the jungles of Peru. It was 10 o’clock in the morning and as the sweat rolled down my face, I looked at the thermometer and the temperature read 104 degrees. As I buttoned my shirt, I realized that this was the first time I had worn my civilian clothes in three weeks. I looked down at my laundry bag and rucksack which were both full. I was excited because today I was going to Lima for a much-needed three-day R & R (rest and relaxation). I picked up my bags and headed out of the tent into the intense heat of the Upper Huallaga Valley. As I passed the sandbag wall that protected our tent, I turned left and walked down the dirt road that circled inside our encampment. I could smell the food cooking in the mess hall and was thankful I would be eating in a restaurant that evening. I spoke with some of the Peruvian National Police officers while walking past their barracks. I realized and was thankful that the bags I was carrying were much lighter than all the ammunition and explosives I normally carried on an operation. Walking past the helicopters, I waved goodbye to the mechanics and pilots who were performing maintenance. I then turned and walked past the mortar positions and out the gate, which was covered in concertina wire, onto the airstrip. There I met up with my two buddies who were making the trip with me. We were all excited about eating good food, sleeping in a comfortable bed, and meeting beautiful Peruvian ladies. I didn’t know at the time but this trip would change my life forever.

Concertina Wire
Photo by Patrick Hendry on Unsplash

I saw the aircraft approaching the runway and was thankful that it was a beautiful day, which meant the flight wouldn’t be canceled because of bad weather. The plane was a gray C-123 cargo plane. It had two propeller engines and was short and fat. We had nicknamed the plane “El Burro” because it kind of resembled a small donkey. I could smell the aviation fuel as the plane taxied to the end of the runway and turned around to prepare for takeoff. We helped unload supplies for the camp and load things that needed to be transported to Lima. By the time we were finished, our clothes were wet, and we were covered in sweat. It was something you just got used to, living in the jungle. I walked up the ramp at the tail of the plane and found a seat at the front of the cargo section. The seats were made out of cargo netting but were still comfortable. I found my oxygen mask which I would be needing later. The aircraft was not pressurized so once we climbed above 10,000 feet we would need to put on our masks and breathe oxygen, if not we would pass out. We called the trip from the jungle to Lima, “Over the Hump,” because we had to fly over the Andes Mountains. We were told that the pilots had to take the aircraft up as high as it could go to get over the mountains. I took a paperback out of my bag and turned to the dog-eared page where I’d left off. I read a lot in the jungle because when we weren’t on operations or preparing for the next operation, there was nothing else to do. I heard the propellers begin to crank up and the noise then turned into a deafening roar as they got up to full speed. El Burro launched forward and gained momentum as it traveled down the airstrip. We were all bouncing around the back of the aircraft, then everything got smooth as we lifted off. In a little over an hour, we would be in Lima and amongst their 5.8 million inhabitants.

Later that evening, after a shower and change of clothes, my friends and I decided to go to a British Pub for a good meal and some beers. As I walked in the front door I saw her standing at the end of the bar. She might not have been the most beautiful girl in the room or the tallest, but she was the only person in the room that I saw. I’ll never forget it, she was wearing a white top, a short blue jean skirt, and blue pumps. She was leaning against the wall with her right leg bent and her foot against the wall. She was standing there talking to some other people, but I couldn’t even tell you who she was talking to because the only person I saw was her. There was an instant attraction. I was told that she was friends with the owner of the pub and that she was dating a German who worked for the airlines. I didn’t even talk to her that evening.

British Pub
Photo by Nikola Jovanovic on Unsplash

I went back to the jungle, finished my tour, and returned to the states. About a year later, I was on another tour and once again went to the pub. I was sitting at a table, eating, and drinking with my friends. The pub was packed that night and filled with laughter and rock music. I felt someone tap me on the shoulder and say excuse me, when I turned around it was her. She said she needed to go to the restroom and asked if I could lean up so she could squeeze between my chair and the pole behind me. About a minute later, she came back and I leaned up to let her through. She came up to me, asking to get by, two more times within a half-hour. After the third time, I was thinking that this girl must have a tiny bladder. I remember her saying, in the sweetest voice, “you must hate me.” I just smiled and said it wasn’t a problem. I still thought she was in a relationship so I didn’t bother trying to talk to her, even though I was still very attracted to her. After a few beers, I saw a very pretty girl standing near the bathrooms and decided to take a shot. I went up to her and asked, “Do you speak English?” She replied, “No, but my friend does.” She then pointed to her friend; the girl I had been attracted to. That was all it took and I went up and introduced myself. She said her name was Sofia and we talked and had a wonderful night. I then went back to the jungle and back to the states without seeing her again.

Several months later, I was back in Lima and ran into Sofia. She gave me her phone number and I was off once again to the jungle. A few weeks later I made another trip, “Over the Hump,” to Lima. The Burro had been delayed because of the weather and we arrived close to 6 o’clock. I had debated on the flight whether to call Sofia or not. As we landed I rushed to our office at the airport and decided if it was still open that was a sign I should call Sofia. I found the office open even though everyone would’ve normally left around five. I gave her a call and asked her out on a date. She accepted and even though I didn’t know it at the time, that phone call was going to change my life forever.

This week we will celebrate our 27^th wedding anniversary. It has been 27 wonderful years and has produced two beautiful successful daughters. I want to wish Sofia a Happy Mother’s Day. She has been the best example to our two daughters, is the glue that holds our family together, and always keeps us laughing.

I also want to wish a Happy Mother’s Day to my mother, in heaven. She always told me, “You can do anything you put your mind to. You can be anything you want to be.”