Episode 47 How To Stop Self-Sabotaging. Learn to recognize the different ways you can be sabotaging your dreams.
Learn To Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Dreams
We all have dreams. Dreams of accomplishing something big or living a better life. The dreams we have started when we were children. We dreamt of being superheroes or being wealthy and driving that luxury car. In our minds, we were rock stars and great athletes. We married our prince or princess and lived happily ever after. As we got older our dreams might have changed. Many times life doesn’t turn out the way we dreamed it would as children. We forget about our dreams and accept life as it is. Have you forgotten about your dreams? Did you lock them away in a trunk and bury them in your dark, damp basement?
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Don’t Bury Your Dreams
Why do we bury our dreams? A small percentage of the population never does. They continue to pursue their dreams until they turn them into reality. These people persevere and overcome all challenges that life throws at them. They know that they are in control of their outcome. Whether they succeed or fail is up to them. The larger percentage of the population never realize their dreams mainly because of self-sabotage. They allow outside forces to determine the type of life that they will live. Learn to recognize when you are self-sabotaging and how to stop.
For me, I have a dream of helping millions of people, not one or two but millions. I dreamed that those millions will use what I taught them to help billions. I want to do this through my blog, my podcast, and the courses that I develop. Currently, I have developed courses on self-confidence and goal setting. My plans are to develop many more courses and I am working on that every day. For me to be successful I have to be aware of and avoid self-sabotage.
The definition of sabotage is an act or process which tends to hurt or hamper. So, what are some of the things that you are doing to sabotage your efforts? These are things that are holding you back in keeping you from moving forward. Here are five ways in which you are self-sabotaging:
- Your words and thoughts are not in alignment;
- You are speaking what you have;
- Not controlling your fears;
- Your circle of friends;
- Trying to accomplish your dreams alone.
Many times when we are speaking positive affirmations we are subject to a psychological effect called, “Imposter Syndrome.” Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern in which a person doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud” We don’t believe what we are saying, therefore, our thoughts are different than our words. The way to defeat this sabotage is by continuing your positive affirmations until you begin to believe. Once you believe in yourself your words and thoughts will come into alignment.
Speak What You Want
Another way that you are self-sabotaging is that you are speaking what you have not what you want. You tend to focus on the negative when you are speaking. This is only going to continue to bring what you don’t want into your life. For example, if you are currently struggling financially and someone asks, “how are you doing?” How do you respond? Do you tell them what you have, “a lot of debt”, or what you want, “I am financially independent?” Think about the words that come out your mouth before you say them and only speak what you want not what you have.
Your fears can be a powerful tool for self-sabotage. Fears are something that everyone has and you have to learn how to control them. I already mentioned how your fear of being a “fraud” can sabotage your dreams. One of the biggest fears that will keep you from achieving your dreams is the fear of criticism. Your fear that you will be criticized, or made fun of, will prevent you from doing what is necessary to accomplish your dream. Your dream has to be bigger and more important to you than the opinion of others. Never tell your big dream to small-minded people.
Speaking of small-minded people, who is in your circle of friends? Do they believe in you? You can be self-sabotaging your dreams by simply listening to your small-minded friends and family. I place people into two categories, “Wind,” which will fill your sails and push you forward or, “Anchors,” which will keep you from moving and possibly pull you down with them. Most of my time is spent with people who believe in me. I don’t have time, and neither do you, for the anchors in your life. Don’t allow other people to decide what life you will live.
Find Your Team
Finally, don’t sabotage your dreams by trying to accomplish them alone. Everyone needs help. Anyone who has ever brought their dreams to reality did it with a team. Your dream should be big, it should scare you, and it’s going to be too difficult to do it alone. Begin to put your team together that will encourage you and mentor you. People that you trust and believe in you will help you identify these patterns of self-sabotage.
Being able to recognize the ways that you are self-sabotaging your dreams and how to stop this behavior is key to your success. Make sure that your words and thoughts are in alignment and speak what you want not what you have. Recognize your fears and work on controlling them. Reduce or eliminate the time you spend with negative people. Begin to form your team and don’t try to accomplish your dreams alone. I encourage you to check out my courses which are designed for your self-improvement. All the techniques that I teach have been proven to work and will help you to reach your dreams. Always think of ways to improve yourself as an investment which will give you a huge return.