No apologies! This is a topic that I’m very passionate about. If I offend you, then you need to look inward at yourself. I’m not mentioning anyone by name.
How do you value other people’s opinions? Are you caught up in the way someone else makes you feel? Can what someone says to you determine if you can have a good or bad day? If so, listen to these words carefully. I don’t give a flying rat’s ass what other people think of me. I know that I’m a good person and that I treat others in the same manner as I would want them to treat me. It has no effect on me what other people think of me or if other people don’t believe that I will accomplish what I set out to do. I learned this lesson a long time ago. When I was a child growing up I had lots of friends and thought that everyone liked me. Then I found out that some people didn’t like me and I never did anything for them to feel that way. I realized then that some people are just going to like you for who you are and some people are not going to like you for who you are. That doesn’t change who you are. You are you, no one else, embrace it.
“You create your own universe as you go along.”
– Winston Churchill
When I was in the military, every year we would get performance evaluations from our superior officers. I would read them and take note of my shortcomings because I respected the men who wrote them. After I left the military and began working for the government I was given the gift of having a bad supervisor. This man hated life and was negative and demeaning everywhere he went. Early on in my career with DEA, I volunteered for a special operation to go live in the jungles of South America and search for cocaine labs. This entailed almost a year that I was out of my office training with the U.S. Army Rangers, attending Spanish-language training, and working in the jungle. I got back to my office after my first tour in the jungle and my supervisor gave me a bad evaluation. He said I didn’t have enough arrests or seizures. I never figured out how I was supposed to arrest someone if I wasn’t there. Maybe this moron didn’t even know I was gone. Now I had received excellent evaluations from my supervisors during training and on my deployment to South America, but he didn’t take any of those into account. Therefore, I was evaluated on what I did in his office even though I was 3,000 miles away. I know he gave me a bad evaluation so I would quit the program and not go on another deployment. It didn’t work, I went on three more deployments within the next two years. Every evaluation he gave me after that I never read. When he would call me in to discuss it I would sign it and hand it back to him. The first time he asked me, “aren’t you going to read it?” My reply was no, I don’t value your opinion. I know what kind of job I do; I know if each day I’ve given it 100 percent or less than hundred percent. Your opinion of me carries no weight with me. In other words, I didn’t give a flying rat’s ass what he thought of me.
I know when I look in the mirror each morning the kind of person that I am, what I’m going to accomplish, what I’ve already accomplished, and you need to be the same way. Who is looking back at you when you look in the mirror? What are you going to do to move forward towards accomplishing your goals? Nothing that anyone says to you should have any effect on whether you succeed or not. Only you can decide that. If some lunkhead in the gym makes a negative comment about your weight, just smile at him because you know exactly what you’re going to look like in a few months. Make sure you thank him for providing that extra motivation. If people laugh at you when you tell them you’re going to be an Oscar-winning actor even though you’ve never starred in a play, smile and remember to thank them in your acceptance speech.
In a few posts back I wrote about “Doubt Demons” and how they show up in your mind to keep you from achieving your goals. The naysayers are the ones who instill in you these “Doubt Demons.” If you give into the naysayers then that just means that you value their opinion more than you value yourself. You have to get the attitude that you do not give a flying rat’s ass about other people’s opinions. The only opinion that matters is what comes out of your voice; the thoughts in your head. Naysayers are losers and like to be in the company of other naysayers because that’s what they attract. Successful people are attracted to successful people. Speak your goals several times throughout the day, make your goals your predominant thoughts and you will attract successful people to you who will help you accomplish them. The naysayers will disappear.
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One of the biggest obstacles you will incur and have to overcome on your journey is when the naysayers, the negative Nelly’s, the doom and gloomers, happen to be your friends or family. These are the ones that just can’t say anything positive about what you’re trying to accomplish when you’re around them. They don’t do it in a malicious way but it can do the most harm. Unfortunately sometimes the only way to overcome this obstacle is to cut them out of your life until you can show them that no matter what they say, you will not be deterred. You just can’t give a flying rat’s ass about what they’re saying. I love my parents but I could tell by the tone of their “encouragement” that they didn’t believe me when I would tell them my dreams. I had to go out and show them.
This is your journey and you and only you decide whether you reach the top of the hill or roll back down to the bottom. If you don’t succeed you cannot point fingers at anyone but yourself. You have full control over the outcome of your journey. No one else is steering your boat or piloting your plane. You are not just along for the ride you are the captain. One thing that most people don’t understand is you are given all the tools necessary to accomplish whatever you want when you were born. Somewhere along the way you’ve let other people steal your tools from you. But all that was yesterday and yesterday doesn’t count, it’s history. What counts is today and what you do today. Tomorrow is already written and it depends on what you do today. Focus on today and continue moving forward.
I believe in the power of sharing. If I read a good blog that really speaks to me and I believe it will provide value to others then I will share it. I have linked four books that I believe have value. In order to change you, you first have to change the way you think. Leaders Are Readers!
The Mamba Mentality: How I Play by Kobe Bryant. These are short stories about Kobe’s experiences coupled with some fantastic photos. It shows that the little things can add up to greatness. I recently listened to an interview where Kobe said he would start his first workout at 4 AM to get ahead of its competition. His mental approach to the game is what made him great.
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. This is an oldie but goodie that is full of relevant life lessons. It is a book that you hear speaker after speaker refer to. Successful people all have the same mentality and know you have to change the way you think to be successful. Only one percent of people set goals.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k by Mark Manson. I found this to be a sophisticated yet easy read. This book goes along with a lot of what I write about in my blog. What other people think about you doesn’t matter so you should stop getting stressed out about it. Focus all your energy on what really matters which is you and your goals.
Extreme Ownership: How US Navy Seals LEAD and WIN by Jocko Willink. A book for everyone that I found basic and clear about leadership, teamwork, and having the right mindset. It is full of great stories with useful and applicable lessons. Own every decision you make.
I also highly recommend checking out the audible membership from Amazon. I can download great books on the audible app and listen to them with my AirPods while I go on my morning walks. You can get any of these products simply by clicking on the links above. If you do purchase any products through my links I’ll get a small commission from Amazon at no additional cost to you.
I appreciate every like, follow, comment and share. Keep’em coming.
“This train is moving on, you can get on, you can get off, but the train keeps going! We are going to the top of the mountain!”