Resistance Will Hit You

Resistance will hit you when you least expect it. I experience resistance when things are going great; it is how life challenges and tests my belief and faith. Last December resistance hit me hard. I did not have any inspirations to write. My mind was blank.

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Get Ready, Resistance Will Hit You

I did have a great Thanksgiving week last year; full of the 4 F’s, food, family, friends, and football. The holiday fell at the perfect time for me because I knew I wanted to take a break. I knew I was dealing with resistance.

When you experience resistance, you find the lessons that you are meant to learn

– Jon Gordon

I wanted to get out of my daily routine for a short time. Every day I start by giving thanks, praying, exercising, journaling, and meditating. I felt it was becoming just a drill, and I was not getting everything out of it. Every once in a while, it is good to step back and take a break.

The tendency to follow the path of least resistance guarantees failure in life.

– Brian Tracy

Do It In Moderation

I believe in doing everything in moderation. I am the type of person that can get obsessed with one thing and ignore other important things in my life. My years of experience have taught me that moderation is a better course for me.

So last week, I went a couple of days without any inspiration to write; I knew I was dealing with resistance. Resistance is that feeling inside you that you want to do something but are also unmotivated to start. It is a force to counter your forward progress. If you have ever attempted to create something, you have probably experienced resistance at some point. No one is immune to it.

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https://unsplash.com/@steve_j

The real problem has far less to do with what is really out there than it does with our resistance to finding out what is really out there.

– Barbara Brown Taylor

Why?

I knew I was dealing with resistance when I began to notice my thoughts. The question, Why was prevalent in my thoughts. Why was I writing? Why was I starting another business? I began to focus on my lack of progress or success in certain areas. I ignored all the progress and success I am having in many more areas. Resistance will hit you, so be prepared.

If I have resistance to something, it means there’s something wrong. The resistance to me is a sign of fear.

– Billy Corgan

Resistance will hit you and is the reason most younger people do not live out their dreams. They believe there is always time. There is no sense of urgency. For example, more people today are living to be 100 than when I grew up. If you are 20 years old, that gives you 80 more years to achieve your dreams. The lack of urgency is why many people do not get wealthy until their 40s and 50s. We live in an unlimited universe, but we do not have unlimited time.

Resistance cannot be seen, touched, heard, or smelled. But it can be felt.

– Steven Pressfield

Light A Fire Under You

No one is promised tomorrow. Last November marked the first anniversary of the passing of my friend Tom. He appeared healthy one day, and a few days later, he was gone. Never take today for granted. You might not have tomorrow.

If you find yourself dealing with resistance, ask yourself two questions.

1. If you were told you had a week to live, what would you do?

2. If Death appeared before you today and said, It is time, what regrets would you have?

The main question is, What are you waiting for?

Cites

https://unsplash.com/@stillnes_in_motion

https://unsplash.com/@steve_j

Sign Your Name To It

My mother always told me, “Scott, if you’re going to do something, do it right.” Those words left an impression on me. What she meant was, whatever you choose to do, do it to the best of your ability. You don’t have to be perfect at it, but you have to give it 100%. In other words, sign your name to it.

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Sign Your Name To It

Sign your name to it is something I have always told my children. I didn’t care what they wanted to do with their life, as long as they did it to the best of their ability. When they wanted to play sports, I told them to strive to be the best player they could be. Don’t just be on the team and wear the uniform; give it 100% and contribute to helping the team win.

Some people are genetically superior athletes, and they tend to play professional sports. If you didn’t inherit those genes, it doesn’t matter how hard you train; they will always be better. Deciding to become a professional athlete would mean you would have to train much harder than them. You would have to be the best you; if you wanted to make the team.

The Gym

I go to the gym every morning and see people who train incredibly hard. They are there every day, and I call them gym rats. In contrast, I see people that can barely walk on the treadmill at a slow pace. The ones that train hard are in great shape and have little body fat. The others, not so much. For them to transform their bodies, they must change their habits and lifestyle.

If you want to become a healthier person and decide you need to do more exercise, the gym is a great place to start. Mentally you have to think of yourself as a gym rat, even if you do not look like one. It is more important to be at the gym daily than it is to spend a lot of time there. Your workouts periods will increase as you get in better shape.

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https://unsplash.com/@grahammansfield1

Sign Your Name To It With Consistency

It is a process that starts with showing up. Develop a weekly training plan and reward yourself for sticking to it. You do not have to keep up with the gym rats, but you have to be there. Work out the best you can for that given day. It does not always have to be great but at the end of your workout, sign your name to it.

Deciding to make a change for your personal development is half the battle. Commitment is what it takes to win the battle. It comes down to being a professional or an amateur. Professionals show up every day even when they do not feel like it; amateurs don’t. Professionals embrace practice and failure; amateurs do not.

Is Motivation Enough?

In an earlier post, I wrote about the difference between motivation and self-discipline. It is hard to be motivated every day to eat healthily, go to the gym, write, etc. A professional does not need the motivation to do the things they are supposed to do. They have developed the self-discipline to do the right things every day. They sign their name to their daily habits. An amateur goes to the gym only when they are feeling well. Any little ache or pain becomes a rationalization or excuse not to go.

Writing

Writers write daily. They do not always write 2000 words a day, but they write. It is only through this consistent effort that they meet their publishing deadlines. I have recently dove into the world of writing a novel. It is a daunting task. Developing the daily habits of writing and researching will be the only way I will complete it. I keep telling myself to sign your name to it; every day that I write.

Also, I have incorporated the idea of becoming a professional in my golf game. No, I do not have any delusions of making money playing golf. It is not an easy game to learn and requires self-discipline. By being self-disciplined, I work on my swing every day. Some days, I will swing 100 times, and then there are days when I only take ten swings. It is about doing the best I can on any given day and doing it consistently.

Do you have any part of your life you are trying to improve? Are you trying to learn a different skill? If so, enjoy the process. Work on it daily and forget about the results. The results will come; you have to practice delayed gratification. Do the best you can no matter how you feel and develop self-discipline. Most importantly, sign your name to it.

Cites

https://unsplash.com/@britishlibrary

https://unsplash.com/@grahammansfield1

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Forgetting About Age

Today I’m going to talk about something that happened to me several months ago. The concept is a little difficult to understand. It’s the difference between living your life spiritually and living physically. The event was simply a conversation I had with a young lady. I don’t believe this connection would have happened if I was not living spiritually in the Now. Therefore, I want to talk about being in the Now and forgetting about age.

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Forgetting About Age And Living Today

Physically, I know that I am 61 years old. I have a birth certificate that tells me that. Although, when I look in the mirror, I see myself as a young man. I don’t look over 30. That is because, in my mind, I don’t have an age. I don’t dwell on the past or spend much time on the future. I try to live in the Now and experience life as it is happening.

Every Saturday during football season, I meet up with fellow alumni to watch the game. Most of the time, the same crowd shows up, and we are in the same age group. This past Saturday, a young lady in her 20s joined us and sat next to me. We had the most engaging conversation. During this conversation, there was no difference in age between us. We were conversing on the same level.

Age Did Not Matter

I did not feel as if she viewed me as an older man and, I looked at her as no different than me. The difference in our age, as well as our gender, race, experiences, etc., were broken down; they disappeared. This happened because I was living in the Now.

Now is the moment in time that I am experiencing, right that second. I am not thinking of my past or my future. Most of our thoughts focus on the past and the future. We are not thinking about life as it’s happening. When I live in the past and the future; I think about age. How many years have passed, and how many I have left.

I Viewed Her As an Equal

If I would have been thinking physically, I would have focused on the difference in our age and not on the conversation. I would have looked upon this young woman as a child, someone who needed my knowledge, more like my daughter. Instead, by forgetting about age, I viewed her only as of the person she is. I was talking to a person, not someone of different age.

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https://unsplash.com/@jurigianfra

It has always been easy for me lately to engage in a conversation with people my age. As humans, we seek out people similar to ourselves. By only being around similar people, my focus would be on our age. We could all sit around and tell “war stories” of our past.

Living In The Now

Living in the Now and forgetting about age, I can experience life through someone else’s eyes. They can talk about their experiences and share their stories. By listening as a person, I understand what others are feeling at this moment in their life.

I have followers of all ages. When I read their blogs, I learn so much about what they are going through. I can learn as much from a 17-year-old as I can from a 70-year-old. I don’t know what it is like being a teenager in another country today. By living in the Now and breaking down the age barrier, I read the articles as if we are the same age.

We All Have Gifts

We all have something to teach one another despite our age differences. You never know who you can help with your experiences. If you feel the inspiration to write, then write. Live in the Now. Experience life as it is happening right now and embrace it. Good things or bad things may be happening. No matter what is happening, embrace the experience.

Bad times never last forever. Embrace all times and give thanks. Better times are ahead! So, when you find yourself near someone of a different age group, look at them as the same as you. Live in the Now. You might make a new friend. Always remember, age is just a number.

Cites

https://unsplash.com/@johnmoeses

https://unsplash.com/@jurigianfra

You’re Not Lazy You’re Normal

Nobody I know would call me lazy except me. I have always made it a point to outwork everyone in the room. That is great, but I have always felt lazy like I was not doing enough. I needed someone to tell me, you’re not lazy, you’re normal. Doing anything has never been my problem. Starting to do something is where the problem comes in. It used to take a lot to convince my mind to do the required activity.

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I’m Telling You You’re Not Lazy You’re Normal

Has anyone else felt the same way about beginning a difficult task? For example, I need to paint the house. That is going to be difficult and time-consuming. My mind conjures up a plethora of reasons not to paint the house. It is cloudy, too hot; I might miss the second round of an insignificant golf tournament on TV, etc. The list goes on and on.

I ask myself, why am I so lazy? Then you get the paint and brushes and begin. Wives in the neighborhood see me and tell their husbands, why can’t you be more like him? He isn’t lazy. After several hours, I finish; exhausted. I have accomplished a lot of hard work but still, feel lazy because of the struggle to get started. Somebody, please tell me, you’re not lazy, you’re normal.

It’s All Physics

In reality, we are not lazy, and the reason we feel lazy is a principle of physics, the Principle of Least Action. The path you choose between two points will always be the path requiring the least energy. When I worked with explosives, I was taught that energy would follow the path of least resistance. I could “aim” the explosive blast by creating the least resistance in the direction I wanted it to follow.

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Your Brain Being Normal

Our brain is wired to conserve energy, and we will always gravitate toward the least amount of work. Choosing to watch golf would have been the least amount of work. That is why I was drawn to that option. It was not that I was lazy but that my brain was working normally. The house could have gone unpainted, but it needed to get done, and I did not want to pay someone to do it.

Change Is Necessary

I have had to change my behaviors to overcome my natural desire to conserve energy. If not, nothing would get done. Our ancestors had to develop behaviors to overcome these universal laws. Imagine if they did not, they would not have grown crops and died out. We would not be here today.

Today, everything is at our fingertips; Information, food, transportation, etc. It is easy now to fall into the trap of never leaving your house and submitting to the Law of Least Effort. Building the behaviors necessary to live a healthy life is more important than ever. When it is time for dinner, your brain will tell you to order food from your phone instead of cooking a healthy meal.

Keep It Simple

How can you begin to build the essential behaviors for personal improvement? You can do this by making the path as simple as possible and satisfying the Law of Least Effort. Meal prepping makes it easier to eat healthy instead of cooking daily. Cook all your meals for the week in one day. Taking a daily walk is beneficial and easier than going to a gym.

Create shortcuts or smaller tasks to achieve the behavior you want to change. Something as simple as taking off your heels after work and putting on walking shoes can satisfy your brain. The next thing you know, you are walking daily after work, and you have created a path of least resistance for your new behavior to develop. These new behaviors will create a new identity for you.

Do not try to do everything at once. Small steps every day will change the person you are over time. Patience, persistence, and perseverance are the keys to your success. Your brain will still choose the easiest option, but now you know; you’re not lazy, you’re normal.

Cites

https://unsplash.com/@kennyzhang29

https://unsplash.com/@molliesivaram

Clear, James. “Chapter 12.” Atomic Habits: An Easy &Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, Penguin Randon House LLC, *New York, New York, 2018, pp. 149–158.

Tap Into Inner Energy

Learning to tap into inner energy is essential in your journey to personal improvement. You can do all the right things and not see improvement. For example, verbalizing positive affirmations and visualizing your future daily, yet you still don’t feel you are improving. Something is holding you back. It could be that your heart is closed, and you are blocking your inner energy.

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Tap Into Your Inner Energy

Almost everything you do externally and internally requires energy. Just like it takes physical energy to exercise, it also takes an expenditure of energy to control your thoughts. Dealing with your emotions also requires energy. Getting through the day asserts a lot of energy. It can be exhausting.

I’m sure you have experienced times when you don’t feel like you have much energy; you are drained. If you feel low on physical energy, rest and a healthy meal can recharge you. Unfortunately, food will not supply you with energy if you are mentally and emotionally drained. Where does that energy come from? Inside you. Yogis call these energy centers chakras. We all have an infinite supply of inner energy.

Your Energy Is Flowing

Have you ever been in love? Those first days of a relationship fill you with physical and emotional energy. You feel as if you could take on the world. The same thing happens when you start a new project; you don’t even think about eating or sleeping. The infinite energy that comes from within you keeps you going.

Conversely, if your relationship ends after a few months, you lose your energy. You become sad and depressed. Much of the energy you have is spent trying to figure out what went wrong. You don’t eat much and spend way too much time in bed.

Where Did It Go?

Where did the energy go? It is still there inside you. You have blocked it. By closing your mind and heart, you have blocked the flow of energy inside you. Learn to open your heart to tap into inner energy.

Have you seen those people who seem to have an unlimited supply of energy? They are happy and productive. You always see them out and about. They are positive, glass-half-full people. In contrast, we all know someone that never has any energy. They are the complainers and hardly ever have anything positive to say. If they can bring you down with them, they will. Their hearts have closed and blocked the energy flow.

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https://unsplash.com/@cyrusgomez

I have experienced these different energy flows many times in my life. Have you? There have been times when my heart is open, and the energy is abundant. Then there were times when I blocked the energy and closed it off. It happens because we are programmed to open or close based on our past experiences.

An Open Heart

If I see a sunset, hear a song, or smell a certain scent that reminds me of a happy time, my heart will open. On the other hand, if those stimuli invoked a memory of a past negative experience, my heart would close. By learning to keep your heart open and let go of your past, you can keep the energy flowing. This energy comes from within your being. It is your Chi, Shakti, or Spirit.

How do you learn to open your heart to tap into inner energy? It’s simple, don’t close it. Decide that you want to keep your heart open. When you feel your heart closing because of a circumstance in your life, stop, relax, and open it up again. Do not allow it to close. Recognize when you feel your heart closing and open it up.

Life Continuously Flows

Don’t allow the circumstances of your daily life to take away your inner energy. Think of life as if you’re standing in a river. Life flows all around you. Experiences happen, but they are only experiences. Like the water, they keep going, ever-changing. Life is a series of experiences that happens to us every day. They are always changing. The river water flows around you, touches you, and then it’s gone. The same water molecules don’t come back, different ones flow behind it. In life, we experience the circumstances, and then they’re gone.

Experiences only stay if we hang on to them and don’t let them go. During the times we react negatively to these experiences, our hearts become closed, and we block our energy. Decide what matters more, an open heart and infinite energy or hanging on to negativity. Keep your heart open and let all things happen. Experience them and let them go.

Cites

https://unsplash.com/@osalom

https://unsplash.com/@cyrusgomez

The Key To Making Goals Work

Today I want to talk about the key to making goals work and a little about my family. I am living out a dream. It is a recent dream of mine to work with my two daughters. Nicole is an entrepreneur, starting a fitness business. Lindsey will graduate at the beginning of May. She is creative and wants to write movie scripts, eventually breaking into the entertainment industry.

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Making Goals Work

Nicole and I have partnered up and opened Beastrong Fitness. It is an online and in-person fitness company. She is designing a line of fitness apparel and wants to open up a gym. This is her dream, and we are working together to get it started.

Lindsey and I are writing a book together. It is a fictional novel loosely based on my experiences. She is very talented and creative. For Nicole, Lindsey, and I to be successful we have to have goals. More importantly, we have to know the key to making goals work.

Goals

A goal is simply what you want, written down with a date. For example, a certain number of words written for the book; or a design finished by a certain date. These are the results we are looking for. It is our roadmaps for getting us from nothing to something. They are results-based.

Results-based goals are necessary, but what happens after we achieve the results? For example, take weight loss. You set a goal to lose a certain amount of weight by a certain date. You change her diet and exercise more. Congratulations, you met your goal. You feel better, look better, and are happier.

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Beastrong Fitness Logo

The Key To Making Them Last

What happens next? Studies show 90% of people will gain the weight back. Why? It is because they didn’t know the key to making goals work. They achieved their results and met their goal, but they are the same person. The key to making goals work is you have to change your identity. You have to set identity goals.

One day, I asked Nicole what do you say when someone asks, “What do you do?” She replied, “I am a personal trainer.” She identified as a personal trainer. I told her she should start saying, “I am a business owner.” She should set a goal to become a business owner. Lindsey must identify as a writer, not a college student.

Become The Person You Want

By changing your goals from results-based to identity-based, you will become the person you want to be. The results will then last a lifetime. Going back to losing weight, turn your focus to the goal of being a healthy person. Begin to change your habits and the person that you are. You will still set results-based goals to keep you on track, but now your results will last.

Think of the person you want to become and picture you as that person in your mind. Start doing the things that they would do. A healthy person walks more and is in the gym daily. A writer writes consistently and meets their deadline goals.

Enjoy The Process

Once you set identity-based goals, don’t get in a hurry. Change takes time. It won’t happen overnight. Make small changes to your daily routine. Do not try to do it all at once. These small changes will begin to add up. Soon you will act, feel, and think like the person you want to become. Your results-based goals will be met, and they will last a lifetime. Changing your identity is the key to making goals work.

Cites

https://unsplash.com/@brett_jordan

Vince Lombardi’s Inspirational Speech

For my podcast today, I am reblogging a post I wrote several months ago, Vince Lombardi’s inspirational speech.

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Vince Lombardi was a great leader who knew how to motivate men. He was an American football coach, winning many championships. He was the head coach of the Green Bay Packers when they won the first Super Bowl, and The Super Bowl trophy is named after him. Lombardi was famous for his inspirational speeches. One of his most famous speeches is “What It Takes to Be Number One.”

Lombardi was known for his drive and determination, but he is remembered for his leadership. Lombardi was driven to be the best and demanded the same from his players. “What It Takes to Be Number One” was first given in the locker room at halftime. Since then, Lombardi gave this speech many times to businesses and at political conventions.

I have always admired Vince Lombardi. You could say, he is my “go-to” guy for inspiration. Vince Lombardi’s inspirational speech is one of my favorites. I have it on a card hanging up in my office. Now and then, I take it down and read it. Vince Lombardi has been such an inspiration to me I even married a girl named Lombardi.

Lombardi’s Inspirational Speech, “What It Takes To Be Number One”

“Winning is not a sometimes thing; it’s an all the time thing. You don’t do things right once in a while; you do them right all the time. Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.”

By doing the right things all the time you will find yourself winning more often than not. Develop the habit of winning in everything that you do

“There is no room for second place. There is only one place in my game, and that’s first place. I have finished second twice in my time at Green Bay, and I don’t ever want to finish second again. There is a second-place ballgame, but it is a game for losers played by losers. It is and always has been an American zeal to be first in anything we do, and to win, and to win, and to win.”

You won’t win every time, nobody does. When you don’t win it should drive you to come in first the next time. Only one team is having fun at the end of a championship game. The winning team.

All In

“Every time a football player goes to ply his trade he’s got to play from the ground up, from the soles of his feet right up to his head. Every inch of him has to play. Some guys play with their heads. That’s O.K. You’ve got to be smart to be number one in any business. But more importantly, you’ve got to play with your heart, with every fiber of your body. If you’re lucky enough to find a guy with a lot of head and a lot of heart, he’s never going to come off the field second.”

Giving it everything you’ve got is how you win. You cannot do things halfway.

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Win

“Running a football team is no different than running any other kind of organization, an army, a political party, or a business. The principles are the same. The object is to win and to beat the other guy. Maybe that sounds hard or cruel. I don’t think it is.”

The objective of any business is all the same. It is to make a profit. If you are not making money in your business, you have a hobby.

Compete

“It is a reality of life that men are competitive and the most competitive games draw the most competitive men. That’s why they are there, to compete. To know the rules and objectives when they get in the game. The object is to win fairly, squarely, by the rules, but to win.”

Competition makes everyone better. It doesn’t have to be nasty and you don’t have to cheat. Do your best and win fairly.

Grind

“And in truth, I’ve never known a man worth his salt who in the long run, deep down in his heart, didn’t appreciate the grind, the discipline. There is something in good men that really yearns for discipline and the harsh reality of head-to-head combat.”

Embrace the grind and everyday challenges. Learn to love the daily routine of making yourself better. Championship teams put more emphasis on practice. They embrace the difficulties of the daily grind. Championships are won during these times.

Read

The final paragraph of his speech is the most important part for me. It sums up what it takes to be number one. Read it many times and let his words take hold of you.

“I don’t say these things because I believe in the “brute” nature of man or that men must be brutalized to be combative. I believe in God, and I believe in human decency. But I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour, his greatest fulfillment to all he holds dear, is that moment when he has to work his heart out in a good cause and he’s exhausted on the field of battle, victorious.”

I love Vince Lombardi’s inspirational speech and hope it helps those still sitting on the sidelines. Get in the game and go after what you want. Thanks for reading and listening.

Cites

https://unsplash.com/@jontyson

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WindShield Mentality

So often, our thoughts are centered around the past and the future. For personal improvement, you should spend the majority of your time focused on today. Think about what you’re doing right this minute. What can you accomplish today? This is called windshield mentality.

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Windshield Mentality

Windshield mentality is looking at what is in front of you. When you are driving a car, you look at what is in front of you through the windshield. Most of your time is spent concentrating on what is happening now. Only a small amount of time should be spent looking too far ahead or what is behind you. It is only what is directly in front of you that counts.

I first heard of windshield mentality when a Clemson University football player was interviewed after a tough game. The team didn’t play well yet still won the game. When asked about the team’s performance, the player responded by saying they had already forgotten about it. Coach Dabo Swinney teaches them windshield mentality. They don’t look at the past or future, only what is directly ahead.

Your Past Does Not Define You

You cannot improve yourself by focusing on the past. It will keep you where you are. Your experiences in the past have gotten you to where you are today. You can never go back and change your past. It is gone, never to return. For example, football players cannot do anything about their poor performance. They cannot go back and replay the game.

Your past does not define you. Whatever happened, happened, and it cannot be changed. Develop a windshield mentality and begin getting ready for the next game. What can you do today to improve yourself?

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https://unsplash.com/@tateisimikito

Do Not Worry About The Future

Focusing on the future only leads to anxiety. The future is unclear, and there are many factors you cannot control. Do not worry about it. If the football players begin looking too far into the future and worrying about playing poorly, they will not be ready for the next opponent.

What can I do today? You will be asking yourself this question if you have a windshield mentality. Remove all anxiety by controlling your future. Decide what your future will be and put the work in today to ensure it.

Set Your Goals

I am a big proponent of setting goals. Goals are what you will accomplish in the future. The negative side of setting goals is the anxiety created when it doesn’t look like you will complete them. The most important part is the method of accomplishment, not the goal itself.

if you are working on the method today, your goal will be attained. There might be a few tweaks along the way, but that is normal. You might even have to change your method altogether. Set your goals, develop your method/plan, and focus on your method/plan. Develop a windshield mentality and work on what you can control today.

Do You Have A Windshield Mentality?

What do you focus on, the past, the future, or today? Remember that whatever happened in the past is gone and does not define you. Do not waste time worrying about the future and events out of your control. Focus on the things that you can control.

I appreciate everyone who takes the time to visit my site and read my blogs. Don’t forget to like, comment, and follow.

Cites

https://unsplash.com/@jerrykavan

https://unsplash.com/@tateisimikito

Break Out Of Your Comfort Zone

The other day I was thinking about those psychological barriers we put on ourselves called comfort zones. Those areas or events which we feel good when we are there. It is our safe place. It is where we feel warm and fuzzy. Nothing can happen to you when you are in your comfort zone. You must break out of your comfort zone to develop.

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Breaking Out Of Your Comfort Zone

For most people, their comfort zone is their home. You feel safe and comfortable inside your home. You can control what goes on there. On the other hand, if you leave your home, you lose control. When you walk into a building you have never been inside before, you feel nervous and uneasy. That warm and fuzzy feeling inside is no longer there. Your senses are heightened because you are outside of your comfort zone.

Your comfort zone is created in your mind. It is a mental boundary based on your past experiences. Everyone has a different comfort zone. Some are small, and some are extensive. Some people are only comfortable inside their homes, but not everyone. If they relate their home to previous bad experiences; it will not be comfortable for them.

Comfort Zones In Your Mind

Your brain is designed for survival and to keep you safe. It creates these comfort zones based on your experiences. Negative experiences as a child manifest as fear. Those experiences would become fearful to you and would be outside of your comfort zone.

What I am talking about is boundaries. Your mind has created these boundaries to avoid the fear that you manifested. You are born with only two fears. The fear of falling, and the fear of loud noises. All other fears you manifest, and all fears can be controlled.

When you decide to expand your comfort zone, it is a painful process. You have to overcome years of boundaries formed in your mind. Your fears will have to be faced, but you can do it. A way to describe your comfort zone is to think about a dog and an electric fence.

No Fences

When my wife and I were in Colorado, I noticed our friends’ neighborhood had no fences to separate the properties. In Florida, almost everyone builds fences around the property. I inquired as to why they didn’t build fences. The reason is that they have herds of elk, deer, and even the occasional bear wandering through the neighborhood. Therefore, the HOA outlawed fences.

Our friends have two large dogs, so they put an underground electric fence as a boundary. The dogs can run around the yard, but if they try to leave, they get a mild electric shock. It teaches them how far they can go. Inside the underground fence is the dog’s comfort zone. It becomes painful when they try to go outside their comfort zone. You are no different. You have created a boundary that becomes painful when you go outside it.

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The dogs manifest a fear of the edge of the property. When they try to leave, they feel the discomfort of the collar and go back to their comfort zone. They are happy in their comfort zone. It is their warm and fuzzy place.

She is A Looker

What happens when one dog decides it wants to expand its horizons and leave? Maybe the dog is a male and sees a beautiful female dog a few houses away. First, it would slowly approach the edge, receive the shock, and jump back. Its desire to meet this female is strong. Instead of going back to its comfort zone, this time the dog stays and tries again.

Each time it receives the shock, it gets less painful. It is becoming comfortable being uncomfortable. With each try, the dog gets farther and farther, until they break free of the pain. It now has new areas to explore and sniff. New experiences are waiting for him, along with the female dog.

Painful?

Was it painful? Yes! Why didn’t he go back to his comfort zone? Because his reason for wanting to get out of the yard, (the female), was bigger and more powerful than the pain. As a result, he expanded their comfort zone. Like the dog, you must break out of your comfort zone.

If your reason for wanting to change your life is larger than the pain of leaving your comfort zone, you will do it. Slowly begin doing the things you are not comfortable doing. Try to do it a little at a time, and the pain and discomfort will diminish. You will be expanding your comfort zone. You might even break free of it altogether.

Self-improvement is painful. You have to face your fears and deal with the past. Your past has shaped you into the person you are today. You have the power to improve your future. Break out of your comfort zone for yourself and your family. Start doing those little things today!

Cites

https://unsplash.com/@lemonzandtea

https://unsplash.com/@alvannee

Tips To Beat Anxiety

Today I want to give you some tips to beat anxiety. This post is directed towards the younger people who are just tasting adulthood for the first time. I have two daughters, one just graduated, and the other is in her last semester of college. I see what they are going through as they transition into adulthood.

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People in their 20’s, both male and female, can experience a lot of anxiety. You are just beginning your life as an adult, and your future is unknown. Breaking into your career field or starting a business are anxious times. I hope the following tips to beat anxiety will help.

If you are experiencing extreme anxiety or depression, please seek out the help of a professional.

Tips To Beat Anxiety

Working outside of your chosen career and waiting to get hired by the right company is worrisome. Embrace this time and know that your shot is coming.

Take control of your life. Don’t wait for things to happen; make things happen. Go and get it done! You have more control than you think.

Connect with God to provide you with strength. Grow your faith to understand that you will have what you want.

Have a plan and work towards accomplishing it every day. Trust in your plan and continue to make improvements.

Understand that you are not alone. Everyone has experienced what you’re going through.

More Tips

Be receptive to praise. If you are told that you are good at what you do, receive the compliment and embrace it. For business owners, ask your client to write a review for you. It is not only for potential clients to read but for you to see how good you are.

Stop beating yourself up! You have accomplished many things so far. You are doing the right things; the timing is not within your control. The results will come in due time.

Seek out mentors who have gone through the same experiences you are going through. Ask them how they overcame the obstacles that were in front of them.

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Even More

As well, find peers that you can talk with. Share your story, and listen to theirs. It is easier to go through these anxious times with others. You are not alone.

Stay in your world and focus on yourself. Don’t concern yourself too much with what is going on in the world. You have very little, if any, control over it. Let God handle it.

Begin with the end in mind. Know that six months from now your life will be better. In one year, five years, etc., you are living your dream. Keep working on it daily.

Think about what you can control today.

Read! Books are a great way to understand why you are feeling anxious.

Last Ones

Journal. Writing can be relaxing and calm your mind. Write whatever comes into your mind. Just let it flow.

Spend some time daily in meditation and prayer. God will speak to you. Ideas will flow, and you will create your future in your mind.

Close your eyes and visualize a vivid picture of your future. Feel it as if it is happening now and is natural. It is the person you are.

Don’t forget to ask God for what you want. I see prayers answered all of the time.

I hope these few tips to beat anxiety will help. Starting anything at any age is an anxious time, and every little bit can help. Don’t let worry and doubt prevent you from becoming the person you are meant to be. You were born for greatness!

Cites

https://unsplash.com/@anniespratt

https://unsplash.com/@fcornish